[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Oooh yeah ♪
♪ Who do you call
♪ When you want Some pepperoni? ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
Right on!
♪ They're stamping out crime ♪
♪ And you know That ain't balony ♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche ♪
♪ He's the leader of the bunch ♪
♪ That's right! ♪
♪ A heck of a fighter ♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch ♪
♪ And little Polly Esther ♪
♪ Who's never afraid ♪
That's me!
♪ Of going into battle ♪
♪ When the bad guys invade ♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis ♪
♪ A wild romantic rover ♪
♪ This cat gets down down ♪
♪ With a love hangover ♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're so bad ♪
♪ They've got more fur ♪
♪ Than any turtle ever had ♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese ♪
Stronger than old cheese?
♪ Stronger than dirt ♪
♪ Better than sand ♪
Meow.
♪ And you're gonna get hurt ♪
♪ Don't hurt me ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
They're fighting crime.
♪ All over town ♪
♪ Three, two, one ♪
[laughing]
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run ♪
♪ The Big Cheese Is the villain ♪
♪ Who's lower than low ♪
♪ It's a rotten shame ♪
♪ He lives in Little Tokyo ♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird ♪
♪ And some nasty Ninja Crowes ♪
♪ As soon as someone ♪
♪ Finds the script ♪
♪ We might begin the show ♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet ♪
♪ And turn the sound up high ♪
♪ And if you want The full effects ♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie! ♪
[laughs]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[arcade music]
Oh my gosh, the show's starting.
Hey where is everybody?
The show's starting.
People are arriving.
Take your places.
Beep beep, beep beep.
Stop.
Hey, that roadrunner's
in the wrong cartoon!
Stop standing around,
we've got a show to do.
That's my luck for you.
Oh, I'm finally going
to get a shot on this show,
and the whole thing is already a fiasco.
Not so fast Bad Bird.
Take that fur ball.
Dear me, it sounds like another fight.
[indistinct shouting]
OK, what's shaking dude,
What's happening?
Huh, What's happening?
You don't know?
Oh sorry you must be the guest star.
You don't know
about The Pizza Cats?
-The Pizza what? -The Pizza Cats.
Almost every day, they have an
incredibly violent and destructive
battle against evil.
Gotta go, I don't want to miss a minute of it.
[shouting and whopping]
Whoever these cats are,
they sure popular.
Looks like I've come to the right place.
Ready bird brain?
-Hee hee, yah! -Yah!
[Bad Bird grunts]
[screams] [metallic crash]
Hey, you got a piece of tuna stuck in your teeth.
[grunting and groaning]
You'd better Keep moving,
you flat footed feather dusters.
We're about to lap ya!
[indistinct squealing]
[grunts]
Get out of here.
Ya!
Whoop.
Really, there's
a piece of tuna right there.
[Speedy grunts]
[bird shouts]
Now that you mention it,
you got some bird seeds
stuck in your beak.
[gasps] Outrageous!
I think it's outrageous.
[Bad Bird screams]
Well if this ain't my lucky day,
and yours too, come to think of it.
You're just what
I've been looking for.
This is an emotional moment.
[sobs loudly]
[together] Huh?
That little song and dance you just did,
was the coolest thing since
Aerosmith.Take it from me,
you can be big man, really big.
Really?
Sure, here's my card.
Beaky Beakinson.
The world's biggest promoter
of Rock n' Roll.
I prefer a good musical comedy,
myself!
Well keep it to yourself.
[clears throat]
Anyway, I wasn't talking to you.
I was trying to tell
Mr. Cat here,
that his ship has come in.
I'm going to make you
a Rock 'n' Roll star.
[bird] Huh.
Me a Rock 'n' Roll star?
[together] You're kidding!
Good looks, good moves
and charisma.
You've got everything you need.
Why kid, you got the biggest
darn potential I've ever seen.
And I've seen them all.
If you can sing,
that's even better, but it's not essential.
Attention please!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
the one you've been waiting for,
Pizza Cat!
Man you gonna kill them.
You gonna blow their socks off.
Even your groupies will have groupies.
Whisker puss, I'll make you the hottest feline
since Cat Stevens.
Well, well, well.
At last I'm getting the credit I deserve.
Good looks, good moves and charisma.
That's what he said.
Speedy, a rock star. Heaven help us.
There's going to be no living with him now.
What do you mean, there was no living
with him before!
Don't worry I won't forget ya.
I'll send postcards to you from every stop
of my national tour.
[laughs]
Listen up everybody.
I've got this terrific idea.
Huh?
They record your album
on long playing pizza pie.
We can sell them, right here.
The profits would be enormous.
Look!
Yeah.
And then even if people
don't like it, at least
they'll have something to eat.
[laughs]
Oh yeah great idea, Francine.
Oh, hi!
Hello everyone.
Hey there Mr. Beakinson,
what's shaking?
Ah, I'm sorry, have we met before?
[narrator] No one recognizes
our samurai heroes
in their secret identities. Don't ask me why?
Just one of the quirks of the show.
I'm looking for a cute
little number called Poly Esther.
Is she around?
-Huh? -Huh?
Right over here sir.
That's me.
You Polly huh?
Babe, you even prettier than I expected.
You about the foxiest thing
-on four legs. -[Poly gushes]
I admire your honesty.
So what's new, pussycats.
Well...
OK that's enough small talk.
I need to find out if you
and your pal Lucille,
will be interested in resurrecting
that old band of yours.
[gulp]
The Pointless Sisters?
Some of you may not be aware that Poly and Lucille
worked their way through college by performing in disco's
truck stops and hospital waiting rooms
as the swinging campbell, The Pointless Sisters,
playing their hot and groovy, totally righteous dance hits,
with Kittens on the keyboards.
"I want to hold your paw"
and "great balls of fur."
♪ When I feel like making milk ♪
♪ Fighting crime ♪
♪ And spinning wheels ♪
♪ But now I sing My song for you ♪
Whoa.
All-girl bands
are the hottest thing.
When I think of all the records
we can sell, it just blows my mind.
What's left of it.
With me behind you,
you can't lose baby cakes.
What do you say?
I'm certainly willing to take
the band out, on the road again,
if Polly is?
Am I?
Can we play Madison Square Gardens?
Right on baby.
Let's show him how we close the act, Lucille.
OK.
We're here to take a bow.
We're Pointlessnow.
Yeah!
Watch out Paula Abdul.
You guys getting back together,
is a great idea.
Maybe I'll even let you be my opening act?
Listen up, we can have
a big promotional party here!
Just because the pizza [indistinct].
Cool it Francine,
we're discussing art here.
And all you can think about are profits.
Yeah!
Great!
I guess I don't even count at all.
What am I, chopped liver?
[narrator] They do say you are what you eat.
But Guido is not the only one who's unhappy things are going.
Of all the nerve, signing those no-talent
alley cats to a record deal
and forgetting all about me.
Doesn't he know that I have the finest voice
in Little Tokyo.
That's news to me too...
Did one of you say something?
Yeah, I mean no.
Don't blow a gasket chief.
Calm down, control yourself.
Control, whose not in control?
Hey, hey?
What is wrong?
But it's too early to blow your stack now, chief?
I can stay, but I just remembered
that Jeopardycomes on now.
Wait a minute, you hate Jeopardy!
[grunts and growls]
[loud bang]
[indistinct mumbling]
I believe actually.
By tomorrow I'll have this city eating out my hand.
By the way, where is my hand?
[crash]
[narrator] The cold
distant moon shines,
on a lonely figure
walking the silent streets
of the cruel city.
Now that's poetry.
Always me.
[forlorn jazz]
[wolves howl]
It's not fair.
Some people have all the luck.
Gee, how can they get all the breaks?
What have they got that I haven't got?
Talent!
-Huh? -Where are ya?
Why don't you come out and fight like a man?
[grunts]
[groans]
[bang]
Whoa!
What is this?
Get Guido night?
Whoa.
All right, enough already.
Whoa.
[whistling hum]
Ow!
[cartoon music]
If the animators are finished,
can I go home now?
Boing!
While poor Guido
takes an underwater cat nap,
we travel across town
where we find The Big Cheese,
and his small evil minions,
hard at work
on his latest nefarious scheme.
Well it's just a variation,
on the usual nefarious scheme.
[Big Cheese] That shows how much you know?
This nefarious scheme's a doozy.
[laughs]
Why it can't fail.
Nobody will be able to resist
my Rock 'n Roll robot.
When they hear it,
they'll want to get down and funk.
Ah boss,
I think the word is boogie!
Boogie, funky, whatever.
[Speedy] I've got my big recording session,
in five minutes.
-Blast off, Francine. -Roger.
-The name's Speedy. -Roger Speedy.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Girls and Boys,
cover your eyes and make some noise.
Extinguish all smoking
materials please.
Flashlight in the air and put your nose to your knees.
Ha, just kidding.
You don't have to do the last part.
Kaboom!
And the Speedy's Rock 'n' Roll career
is launched.
Look there goes another
one of those crazy cats again.
[singing]
Yo bro, look at your mama,
don't she remind you of Tina Turner?
Not really.
♪ Bam boom ♪
I'm off.
Doesn't this costume make me look hot?
The suit looks sexy all right.
Tramp!
I'm supposed to sit here and do nothing, huh!
All right.
[narrator] Across town, trouble,
as they say in third grade
coffee shops is ruined.
[woman] What could it be?
[man] It's a monster.
It's a giant.
It's a giant monster!
It's... it's...
Englelbert Humperdinck?
Wow, he's a lot taller in person.
Jeez, get a load of that overbite!
But it's not the real Humperdinck,
it's not even a phony Humperdinck.
In fact I don't know
how his name got into this.
Alright, let's crank it up.
Do it!
[wood echoes]
[guitar whines]
[rock music]
[bell tings]
Hey, can you dig it?
[together] Yeah, pump it up.
What you say?
[together] Yeah, pump it up.
I can't hear you!
Of course you can't
hear them, idiot!
Shut that noise off.
[instruments squealing]
Listen here you morons,
you hired to play back up
for the Big Cheese.
None of that heavy metal nonsense.
Got that!
The chief goes strictly
for easy listening.
Love ballads, that kind of thing.
Take it away, Bad Bird.
And a one, and a two...
Hello everyone,
we coming to you live
from the Bubble Room.
I have taught the Rock 'n' Roll robot,
bringing you sultry tones
of that whiskered wonder,
that romantic rodent.
That... that rat!
The one and only and thank heavens he is...
the Big Cheese.
[applause]
[soft pop music]
[mechanical buzz]
[warbling] ♪ Darling ♪
♪ Oh my darling why ♪
♪ I've been so sad Since you've been gone ♪
[moaning and groaning]
♪ Why ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ I want you to be mine ♪
♪ Oh please... ♪
He's decimating the city.
Why aren't the cats rushing into action?
Well you see, um... [squeals]
That was cool cats.
Play back!
♪ Everywhere we go ♪
♪ The people come ♪
♪ And watch the show ♪
♪ And see we're cool cats ♪
♪ Cool cats ♪
♪ Everywhere we sing ♪
♪ The... ♪
This is what I like. Double platinum!
♪ Cool cats ♪
So you see, Speedy and Polly
are kind of busy right now.
That means you will have to handle this one.
Come on, get moving.
Save your breath Big Al.
What's that?
Maybe I've got better things
to do with my time too.
Did you ever think of that?
But you a Samurai Guido.
You have to fight evil, it's in your contract.
Then, let's renegotiate that contract.
Guido, calm down.
[buzzer]
-Chill out big guy. -Hmm!
I guess I'll have to call The Rescue Team.
When The Pizza Cats are in a jam
or too busy to be bothered,
some of our fearless felines
are taking a leap into the fray.
These are hard times for Super cats.
You have to take what you can get.
Now Guido, just cause
those guys are putting their lives in danger,
you shouldn't feel guilty.
I mean, just because you
sitting around doing nothing.
Mm.
I'm not going.
♪ Oh, if you'll be mine ♪
♪ I won't have to tear Your whole house down ♪
♪ If you'll be mine ♪
♪ I won't have to ♪
♪ Burn ya home down, down ♪
♪ Oh please be mine ♪
-Clear off the court now! -♪ Please be mine... ♪
It's a recording studio, where those lousy cats
are cutting their record.
What should we do?
Why not pay a visit to them?
I'm sure they'll be delighted
to see us, don't you think?
[minions laughing]
Who is it, who's there?
Three guesses, you villain. [chuckles]
Aren't you going to try?
Come on, guess?
You guessed right.
It is I, General Catton.
And they finally given me
more than just a walk on role,
in this episode.
Right, no more playing second fiddle for us.
Our time has come.
We tired of sitting around,
warming the bench.
We want our own program.
Who are we guys?
[together] We're the Rescue Team.
I don't like the sound of that?
This could get messy.
Next, they'll want
their own dressing room
and personal trainers.
Who are these guys?
Where the Pizza Cats?
Looks like they sent
their second string into the game.
Second string, first string, G-string.
It makes no difference to me.
Let's whack them boys.
We're on national television.
Let's show them what we can do.
[together] All right.
[grunts]
Working together in perfect sync,
the fighting felines begin to construct
a super-duper wonder weapon
to oppose the Big Cheese
and foil his wicked scheme.
Each of them contributes
a vital piece of hardware.
Wings and stabilizer.
Artillery, generator, thruster.
Can opener!
Finally all these pieces
come together to form
the most powerful,
incredible,
um... awesome,
invincible...
What is that thing?
[together] Stand by to fire
the super-duper wonder weapon.
OK, fire.
[thunderous noise]
[indistinct chattering]
[comedic music]
Right.
We've got to pump up the volume.
Let's hit them with our ultra-deadly
disaster plasma.
[together] Fire the laser weapon?
[squawking]
Oh.
OK, so maybe we not ready
for our own series,
we need some help, fast.
I second the motion.
I'll go along with that.
Sounds good to me.
Huh!
What am I doing here?
I dunno what came over me.
I belong out there,
fighting the forces of evil
with my fellow felines.
I'm proud of you.
I'm a Samurai, Francine
and I've got to defend
truth and justice, no matter what the cost.
I may not come back alive,
so don't wait up for me.
Don't worry, I won't.
Ready to go?
Yeah!
[explosion]
Meanwhile, the Big Cheese
continues his rampage.
What happened around here?
What could it be?
Maybe some over-zealous fans?
The Beatles had this problem.
This violence, it makes me so--
[both scream]
There goes the neighborhood.
[Big Cheese laughs]
You've performed your last,
Kitties.
You've sung your swansong.
But before we say farewell,
let's listen to some real music.
♪ Now you are mine I've got you now ♪
♪ There will be no stopping me ♪
[screaming]
♪ You got no time to stop or go ♪
♪ You Pizza cat... ♪
[explosions]
Huh, someone cut me off?
-Hey! -Too bad, what a pity.
-Yeah I liked that. -What?
It sounded like a long tailed rat
in a room full of rocking chairs.
If you don't have anything nice
to say, shut up!
I'm entitled to my opinion.
This is a free country,
as long the Samurai Pizza Cats
have anything to say about it!
You dig?
[girls coo] We don't.
There's too many cats in the world.
Why don't their owners have them fixed?
Don't worry chief.
Hey boys, grab that umbrella!
Right!
Here you go, take it out for a test spin.
[all shouting]
Oh!
[mechanical ping]
[electronic pulses]
You show 'em Guido.
About the nerve--
It's bad enough you've caused so much property damage,
but you forced that
obnoxious music on everyone.
That ticks me off.
It should be noted
Guido's never been fond
of easy listening music.
Even when it's sung on key.
In fact, it really gets his fur up.
And when his fur is up,
watch out!
It's time to get down
and get funky!
[yells]
[squawk]
[noisy explosion]
[yelling]
Why even bother
learn the boards in this episode, please.
It was a dirty job,
but it had to be done.
What a guy.
He's the grooviest. Gosh!
Wait a minute, what am I, chopped liver?
Wow, you one hip cat. What moves, what style?
You make Springsteen
look like Tennessee Ernie Ford.
Listen Whisker Puss,
the teenyboppers are going to go crazy over you.
Well, let me at them.
[laughs]
[both] Here we go again!
[laughing]
Can you believe it, his records are selling like crazy.
Who'd buy it?
Hey Guido, are you in there?
[cat screech]
Hey, what gives?
These are copies of Guido's CD's.
What are they doing here?
This might explain why sales have been so good.
[Guido chuckles shyly]
[fun music]
[together] Ohh.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The Samurai Pizza Cats
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai!
And I'd like to note...
Did your antics
take your breath away?
Like fur balls, in your throat?
We kittens are a special breed,
we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese
knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
So hail
to the old pizza cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be [indistinct]
We know you'll fight like...
[all together] Pizza Cats!
[closing theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ We hoped you liked the show It's the best we could do ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ If you do better Then we'd leave it up to you ♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know ♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show ♪
[laughs]
Oh cuz.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They fighting crime Oh yeah ♪
♪ All over town ♪
[laughs]
♪ All over town ♪
Oh yeah.
♪ Two... four... six... eight ♪
♪ Why do we ever Have eight ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Read all the credits ♪
♪ And I hope you get the words ♪
[laughs]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[laughs]